Now it is about an incident that had happened in another relative’s family of mine who lives in a hill station. We loved being there due to the following three reasons viz., good weather, warm gestures by the family members, good food prepared by my aunt. We enjoy all the three and prefer staying at their place during vacation time.
Likewise came my class XI vacation time. All of us were busy deciding our favourite places and unanimously we choose to visit our relative’s place in the hill station. We were busy purchasing gifts for them and mom was busy preparing some delicious dishes for them. Of course, my dad helped my mom in her kitchen work and I admire my dad for that. The day of our departure to the hill station came and we boarded the train not just with those items, but also with loads and loads of happiness with an enthusiasm to enjoy to the maximum.
We reached there and our relatives were waiting there to pick us. The family that we had visited was a family of four members - the father of the family, who happened to be my paternal uncle, the mother and two siblings. My uncle was a very hardworking family oriented guy. He loved his family so much and very energetic round the clock with a smile always on his face even after hours of hard work. All others of the family were so good and nice to be with.
The uncle went out and came home with lots of vegetables and fruits that he had got from the farm market. My uncle knew that I love fruits so much. The uncle gave the bag to his daughter and left out to meet one of his friends. The uncle’s daughter ran to pick the fruits and immediately started eating them. That is when the aunt came and she yelled at the child using some ‘filthy language’. The girl replied back telling, “What did I do? I just had some fruits. Dad has got this for us to eat. So why not eat?” Saying this she threw the fruits that she had in her hands. Her mom said, “How many times have I told you? Why did you eat the fruits without washing?". Immediately she threw away the remaining fruits and scolded the girl for throwing the fruits.
The scene became worse. The daughter started crying. The mother was angry and went into the living room with furious face. The daughter cried and cried and the father came home. The daughter ran towards him and flung into his arms. She cried without telling anything. The father hugged her and asked her the reason for her sorrow. The daughter narrated the incident and said, “I am very unhappy because mom used that particular ‘filthy language”. She said that particular word. She said, “I am not that. Mom is only that”. Hearing this the dad replied, “No, dear. Mom said this because she loves you so much and she wants you to eat washed vegetables so that you won’t fall sick. But I agree that the way she said this was wrong. Though her intention was very good, she is wrong in using such kind of words. I will talk to her about this. But you need to understand that your mom thinks good for you and the way you behaved with your mom is not right. I think now you must ask sorry to your mom for your behavior towards her. Will you my dear?” Saying this he kissed the child on her forehead and the daughter was very happy and smiling. She went to her mom and said, “Sorry mom, I am wrong. I will not repeat it again. I will wash and then have fruits here onwards”. She hugged her and the mom returned her hug with love.
Saying this, the daughter went out to play. That is when the dad called his wife and told her, “See. Our child’s behavior depends on how we behave with her. See, you do not want her to use those kinds of words, but you use. You don’t want her to throw the vegetables, but you do throw. What are you trying to convey to her? Your intention was good. But you did not project it in an appropriate fashion to her. If you convey it with love and explain to her the consequences of an action she will definitely understand if not in one time, but with a couple of reminders. Patience and persistence in our approach is important when we handle our children. Hope you understand. Now it’s your turn to ask sorry to her for your behaviour”. The mother replied, “Oh, no! How could I do that to her? I am her mom. Will she not think that I too make mistakes?” The uncle asked, “So, what? The mom said, “She will no longer respect me”. “No dear, she will respect you more for your honesty. She will understand that committing errors could be common. But it is important to correct them and not repeat it again”. After a brief discussion the mom agreed and waited for the daughter’s arrival. She said sorry to her daughter and the daughter was happy and said, “Its ok mom. I knew you did it for my goodness”.
The atmosphere became friendly and very energetic as it was in the beginning. I was very happy seeing that scenario and wholeheartedly admired my uncle for his ability to handle things.
He was not highly educated. That is when I was reminded of a quote on education, “Education is a change that happens in a positive direction”. My uncle demonstrated it and I admired him for that.
Is it not important to convey our thoughts to our children in a way the child could understand?
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