Is too much pampering or showing anger a solution for child’s undesirable behaviours?

It was a weekend. I wanted a break from daily routine. I went to my cousin’s house. My cousin’s only daughter was around 3yrs old then. Her name is Ana. Ana is very naughty and hyper. Very loving as well. She loves people and enjoys their presence. My cousin’s wife is highly interpersonal and hence lots of neighbors keep visiting her. So came a next house neighbor with her kid. The neighbor’s kid was 1 yr 3 months then and her name is Mai. Ana immediately took her playthings inside and kept it in another room. She welcomed Mai with a smile and played with her. She took a beautiful toy that I had gifted her and showed it to the neighbor’s kid. She said, “See, My aunt got this yesterday. See how beautiful this is”. Mai came near her to pick the toy and Ana refused to give it to her. My cousin’s wife came in and picked Mai, hugged her and kissed her. Seeing this Ana pulled Mai from the other kid. Mai moved away and in the meantime Mai’s mom was about to leave with her kid. Ana said, “Aunty, you go home. Let Mai be here. I want to play with her”. That is when my cousin’s wife replied to her daughter, “Ana, why do you want to play with Mai now? Why should she be here? You are not willing to share your toys with her. If you want her to play with you, you should also share your toys. Then only you could have her with you. You like her right?” Ana nodded her head in response. My cousin’s wife continued, “If so, sharing is also one way of showing your love. If you want every one to love you and hug you, you need to show the same to others as well. You want Mai’s mom to love you. Right? Accept the same when your mother does it with her”.

Ana was quiet for sometime and then said, “Ok mom. I will do that”. Saying this she took her toys and ran behind Ana to give it to her. I witnessed this scene and was happy about the way the mom handled the kid.

Sometimes it is good to share the reality of life with kids so that they know what they know how to treat others. I am not sure if this is the right way to handle kids to make them understand a few things, but this could be one!